The Church & Statistics on Sexuality

statistics
Many within the Church claim they are not influenced by the work of Alfred Kinsey. Although most don’t want details, they acknowledge his aberrant thinking. They’re aware of his abuse of men, women, children, and science. “We want nothing to do with him!” they say.

Yet, earlier this year, one of my own denomination’s church publications quoted statistics from the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at the University of Indiana. When I asked, “Why?” the answer was, “Where else do we go for statistics on sex and sexuality?”

This should give us pause. Why do we need statistics on sex and sexuality? What is their purpose? How are they used and to what end?

For the sake of dialogue, let’s assume that the Christian community has a valid reason for using statistics on topics of sex and sexuality. There is much to be considered.

First, how are such statistics gathered? Eunice Ray, founder with her husband Col. Ronald D. Ray of RSVP America (Restoring Social Virtue & Purity in America), told me, “There isn’t any scientific way, according to the Ph.Ds I know who have looked honestly at the subject, to accurately quantify the data gathered. It is subjective and not able to be duplicated. If you test physiological responses maybe, but simply developing a questionnaire and delivering it is problematic.” Ray quotes Abraham Maslow who once remarked to Alfred Kinsey that people who will talk with people “like us who seek statistics on sexual behaviors” are “off” already. Most “normal” people will not be questioned about their sex lives.

Second, can we correctly label data or statistics on sex and sexuality as “science”? If so, it should be able to be duplicated. Here, then, is the difference between “hard science” and “social science.” In the case of “hard science,” another researcher can duplicate the original and get the same results. This is most likely not true with “social science.” What is true, however, is that questions in any “social science” survey can be phrased in such a way to produce a particular answer.

Third, who are the “experts” on sex and sexuality? The truth about intimate matters was once the province of medicine and the Church. But, “social scientists” such as Mary Calderone, Lester Kirkendall, Dr. John Money, and others labored diligently to relocate the truth of such matters to another province or, at the very least, become the “go-to experts” for the Church. It was SIECUS and “sexologists” who encouraged churches and their educational outreach to speak of the “gift of sexuality” and encourage the “yeses” of a “Garden-like” sexual experience. We see something similar with abortion. The Church could never embrace abortion until social science disguised as true science denied God’s design for men, women, marriage, and the family. But the “scientific” code that made abortion legal is based on a social science that not only betrays a doctor’s oath to “to do no harm,” but opposes God, the Creator of human life. Today, there are church-going women who view their abortions as “a sacrifice I had to make for myself” and pastors who tell pregnant and frightened women that an abortion will “send their child to be with Jesus.”

In authoring The Failure of Sex Education in the Church: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity, I chose not to offer much in the way of statistical data. I do, however, offer history, explanation, and contrast between sex education and instruction in purity with the ultimate goal of encouraging God’s people to ponder, dialogue, and seek His Word rather than the opinion of man. For all who seek the hard science of medical data as opposed to social science, I recommend You’re Teaching My Child What? by Miriam Grossman, M.D., and How Teen Sex Is Killing Our Kids by Meg Meeker, M.D. A quick read of Dr. Grossman’s book Unprotected will also explain how “politically-correct” feminism, certainly not to be confused with hard science, has powerfully influenced both medicine and the Church.

We can gather statistics on how many people are divorced within a particular congregation, denomination, or community. That would be a civil, documented matter. But can we gather pure statistics on sexual behavior? If so, how? From what groups of people? With what kind of questions? To what conclusion?

Is there really such a thing as valid “sex research”? Perhaps the better question is: Why do we need “authorities” on sex or sexual behavior when we have God’s Word?

The Word of God says, “See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ” (Col. 2:8). Jesus knows that our flesh is weak (Mark 14:38). Perhaps, for this reason, God does not turn our heads toward worldly “statistics” or so-called “scientific surveys,” but toward holiness, purity, and self-control. In what way does a sex survey or statistics on sexual behavior encourage holiness? In the 1950s, following the publication of Kinsey’s “scientific” report, husbands and wives began to wonder what they were missing. Church-going sons and daughters began to question their parents’ morality.

Today’s parents and pastors aren’t asked to do anything any differently than those in previous generations. We are to instruct children and congregations in the ways of the Lord and, in so doing, help young and old to resist temptations of Satan, the world, and our own sinful nature.

It is uncertain that we will be rightly guided by measurements and comparisons provided to us by sexologists. The words of social scientists come… and go. But the Word of the Lord is forever. We will be rightly guided when we fear, love and trust God who is the Creator of male and female, marriage and family. It is His Word that saves us and leads us away from the trips and snares of this present world.

Jesus Doesn’t Wrap Silly Myths

Jesus and little childrenWhen did God say, “Educate children in sex”?  I challenge you to find this passage in Scripture.  While you’re looking, you will find an opposing thought.  Parents are to train their children in purity.  The theme of purity is woven throughout Old Testament and New.

When our sons were in elementary school, I purchased a series of “sex education” books from a Christian publisher.  Something about them troubled me, so I put them on the shelf.  I found a better substitute — chivalry and more about biology than “sexuality”.  Of course, there was no substitute for the Bible.  I was amazed to see how much God had to say about training in purity.  I began to contrast God’s Word with “sex ed” textbooks and resources.  The teachings were world’s apart.

The question for me was this: Which worldview was best for children?  Some years later, speaking nationwide to teens and their parents, I realized why I had been uncomfortable with Christian-wrapped “sex ed” material.   Jesus does not wrap Himself around worldly ideas.

“Sex education” is not a Biblical teaching.  It is the idea of Alfred Kinsey who coined the phrase “children are sexual from birth.”  Too late, his criminal and fradulous research was exposed.  Opinions had been shaped — in education, media, and even courts of law.  If we define ourselves as “sexual” (with “needs” to be met), or “sexy” (“it’s our right”), then that’s how we’ll live.  Our Creator God defines us differently (Genesis 1:27):

So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

The first man and woman were made in God’s perfect image.  God defines Himself as “Holy.”  Therefore, God called the bearers of His image not to a “sexy” life, but to a holy life.  We all fell from perfection when sin corrupted God’s perfect image-bearers, but His original design for male and female did not change.  We are called and equipped by God to be holy (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).  Unlike animals, we are not captive to our sexual desires.  Our bodies (knitted together by God) and our lives (held in His arms) are not our own.  They were “bought with a price” (1 Corinthians 6:20).  That price is the blood of Jesus Christ.  In Jesus, we are forgiven and set free to pursue what is good, right, and holy.

God created male and female, not to bring glory to themselves, but to Him.  We do this best when we realize that God does not define us as “sexy” or instruct us to call attention to ourselves; rather, He defines us as “holy” people who help our neighbors see God.

God’s Word says,

Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths.  Rather, train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.  The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance.  To this end we toil and strive . . .

This passage from 1 Timothy 4: 7-10a tells me that Jesus can’t be wrapped around unholy and “silly myths.”  It is impossible for Truth to wrap Himself around foolish and destructive philosophy and practice.  Certainly, as the passage above notes, we have to “toil and strive” because disconnecting ourselves from worldly influence is extremely difficult.  It threatens to sap the energy right out of the most persistent Christian.  Still, every father, mother, grandparent, pastor, teacher, and mentor is obligated by God’s Word to train children in purity.  To do otherwise is to remove the protective boundaries of modesty and send vulnerable children to wolves — big and bold or dressed in sheep’s clothing.

Jesus doesn’t wrap around modern sex education.  He can’t.  He is the Word of purity, modesty and humility.  For this reason, His Word tells elder brothers that they have the responsibility to guard the purity of their younger sisters (Song of Solomon 8:8-9).  If the little sister is a wall (virtuous), they are to help protect her chastity.  If she has fallen into sin and is like a door (swaying open to promiscuity and harmful choices), then they are to do what they can to rescue her, call her to repentance, and put a stop to her sinful behavior.

Jesus contrasts the world.  He is Light; the world is dark.  He is Truth; the world is myth and changing opinion.  Jesus, the Word, tells us: Do “not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Solomon 3:5b).  We must not disregard the order that pleases God.  It is His design — for the good of all — that love be stirred, awakened, and fulfilled only in marriage between one man and one woman.

So, I challenge you to answer one question: Which practice is compatible with Jesus?

  1. Boys and girls brought together in a classroom, not to study anatomy, but to “ease inhibitions” and “comfortably” discuss all manner of “sexuality” (with caution to “wait” until marriage following graduation, college, and establishment of career); or,
  2. Boys and girls taught separately to honor God’s created order and complementary difference of male and female; mentored in Biblical manhood and womanhood; equipped for the battle with temptation; and age-appropriately helped to understand God’s design for procreation between one man and one woman in marriage.

Jesus is Truth.  Truth cannot wrap Himself around unholy and “silly myths.”  To protect children from wolves (big and bold or dressed as sheep), Jesus guards walls of virtue.  He rescues the hurt and repentant after doors have swung open.  He tells me to do the same.

This is the love of Him who holds young ones in such high esteem.

First posted 10-1-2010 in Ezerwoman